Consider
Saturday, October 25, 7:00 p.m. and Sunday, October 26, 4:00 p.m.
Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Rockville
100 Welsh Park Drive, Rockville, Md.
Cantate Chamber Singers and Rock Creek Singers of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington
Welcome to Cantate’s interactive program for CONSIDER. Within the program, select a movement title to view its text. Use “back to top” to return here. During the performance, captions for the music will be displayed on screens above the stage.
Join us for Cantate’s next concert: CELEBRATE
Program
Considering Matthew Shepard
Craig Hella Johnson (b. 1962)
PROLOGUE
Henry Johnson, tenor
Ellen Kliman, Lorna Neil, Martha Hersman, Deirdre Feehan, Caitlin Garry, Clara Capili, Annette Anfinrud, and Bethann Siegel, supporting voices
Ellen Beard, soprano; Lorna Neil, soprano; Jack Mountain, tenor; Joval Martin, tenor
Chelsea Bromstad Lee, Phyllis Fong, Deborah Silberman, Deirdre Feehan,
Doug Throckmorton, Nick Hopwood, Bert Ifill, and Dennis Tosh, semi-chorus
We Tell Each Other Stories / I Am Open
Ellen Kliman, soprano
PASSION
Harry Dankowicz
Alun Thomas, bass
Stephanie Cabell
Zac Barger, bass
Ellen Kliman
Keep It Away From Me (The Wound of Love)
Carolyn Chuhta, mezzo-soprano; Paris McMillian, Ellen Kliman, and Jeanne Morin, trio
John Wiecking
Devin Osborne, baritone; Harry Dankowicz, speaker
David O’Dette, Michael Aylward, Rick Bennett, Kyler Hewitt, and Sean Robinson, percussion
Rob Finn
I Am Like You / We Are All Sons (Part II)
Harry Dankowicz, David O’Dette, Bert Ifill, Phyllis Fong, Martha Hersman, Jack Mountain, Ulf Ekernas, Nick Hopwood, Deborah Silberman, John Wiecking, and Dennis Tosh, soloists
Joval Martin, tenor
Annette Anfinrud
Lorna Neil, soprano
Ellen Beard
Martha Hersman
Drew Thatcher, tenor
Sarah Kerr
Phyllis Fong, Bethann Siegel, and Clara Capili, trio
Sean Robinson
Chelsea Bromstad Lee, Harry Dankowicz, Ulf Ekernas, Phyllis Fong, Doug Throckmorton, Sarah Kerr, Paris McMillian, Paula Chipman, Deborah Silberman, Martha Hersman, soloists
EPILOGUE
Clara Capili, soprano; Bethann Siegel, Carolyn Chuhta, and Deirdre Feehan, trio
Alun Thomas, Carolyn Chuhta, Phyllis Fong, Deirdre Feehan, Caitlin Garry, John Wiecking, Nick Hopwood, Bert Ifill, Chelsea Bromstad Lee, Jeanne Morin, Jack Mountain, Ulf Ekernas, Harry Dankowicz, Lorna Neil, Bethann Siegel, and Jeanne Morin, soloists; Calla LaBeau and Patrick Nelson, speakers
Paris McMillian, Ellen Kliman, and Jeanne Morin, trio
Cattle, Horses, Sky and Grass (Reprise)
Henry Johnson, tenor
Please join us for a reception following the performance.
ABOUT CANTATE
Cantate Chamber Singers (CCS) performs choral literature of the past five centuries, championing neglected masterpieces and 20th- and 21st-century music, including premieres of choral works commissioned from young and diverse composers. CCS was founded in 1984 and has been under the direction of Victoria Gau since 2019. Cantate now encompasses CCS, Cantate Concert Choir (founded 2021), and the Summer Choral Institute (in partnership with Montgomery College), as well as the Lift Every Voice oratorio fellowship for pre-professional singers and the biennial Young Composers’ Competition, both of which provide paid opportunities for performance, training, and advancement to emerging artists. Learn more about Cantate here, including our pledge to equity.
Want to sing with us? Cantate singers are community volunteers from Montgomery County and surrounding areas in the D.C. region. Auditions for Cantate’s Chamber Singers and Concert Choir are held in June each year. Tenors and basses are welcome to audition anytime.
Victoria Gau, Artistic Director
Lauded by critics for her “strong sense of style and drama” (The Washington Post) and her “enthusiastic and perceptive conducting”, conductor Victoria Gau brings a wide range of musical experience and expertise to her work. In addition to her role as Artistic Director of Cantate, she is in her 29th season as Artistic Director and Conductor of the Capital City Symphony (DC). Read more about Maestra Gau.
Andrew Earle Simpson, Keyboard Artist
Andrew Earle Simpson, Cantate Chamber Singers’ keyboard artist since 2007, is ordinary (full) professor and founder/director of the Master of Music, Stage Music Emphasis Composition program at the Benjamin T. Rome School of Music, Drama, and Art at The Catholic University of America and a composer whose most recent projects reflect an interest in theatrical music and humanistic subjects. Read more about Andrew Earle Simpson.
SOPRANO
Annette Anfinrud
Ellen Beard
Clara Capili
Paula Chipman
Caitlin Garry
Sarah Kerr
Ellen Kliman
Chelsea Bromstad Lee
Paris McMillian
Lorna Neil
Bethann Siegel
ALTO/ COUNTERTENOR
Stephanie Cabell
Carolyn Chuhta
Deirdre Feehan
Phyllis Fong
Elizabeth Gemoets
Martha Hersman
Jeanne Morin
Patricia Pillsbury
Deborah Silberman
John Wiecking
TENOR
Nick Hopwood
Jack Mountain
David O’Dette
Doug Throckmorton
BASS
Harry Dankowicz
Ulf Ekernas
Bert Ifill
Devin Osborne
Dennis Reece
Ed Rejuney
Alun Thomas
Dennis Tosh
ADMINISTRATIVE STAFF & VOLUNTEERS
Cara Schaefer, Executive Director
Drew Cahoon, Production Manager
Martha J. Hersman, Chorus Manager, Chamber Singers
Chelsea Bromstad Lee, Program and Slide Design
Dennis Tosh, Copyeditor
Learn more about Cantate staff.
BOARD OF DIRECTORS
Many people help guide Cantate. Learn more about Cantate’s Board of Directors.
ABOUT ROCK CREEK SINGERS
Rock Creek Singers is a small ensemble of the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington, DC (GMCW). Led by Artistic Director Thea Kano, GMCW is now in its 45th season. GMCW sings to inspire equality and inclusion with musical performances and education promoting justice and dignity for all. Rock Creek Singers keeps a very busy schedule with many outreach performances each season. Past outreach performances by Rock Creek Singers have included an LGBTQ+ music and outreach tour in Iceland; performing at Various Voices in Munich, Germany; various Pride celebrations including NASA’s Pride ceremony; performances alongside Broadway veterans such as Alan Cumming and Laura Benanti; opening the 36th Annual WAMMIE Awards; performing at the Center for the Performing Arts of Luray, VA; and the first-ever tour by an LGBTQ+ chorus to Cuba. GMCW is a member of Chorus America, the Gay and Lesbian Association of Choruses (GALA Choruses), and the Cultural Alliance of Washington.
TENOR I
Michael Aylward
Rick Bennett
Javon Byam
Alison Hecimovich
Henry Johnson
Joval Martin
Jack Reiffer
Drew Thatcher
TENOR II
Jonathan Chaffin
Anthony Gibson
Andrew Harmon
Kyler Hewitt
John Jowers
Jim Madigan
Josh Peterson
Sean Robinson
James Turner
BARITONE
William Barry
Eric Belkengren
Rob Hall
Ben Harris
Addison Hughes
Sean Link
Patrick Nelson
Larry Poole
Lonny Smith
BASS
Zac Barger
Jarrod Bennett
Ethan Chiang
Bob Dragoset
Michael Hughes
Calla LaBeau
Armando Loney
Trevor Partridge
Craig Ruskin
Chuck Willett
ABOUT THE INSTRUMENTALISTS
Violin
Andrea Vercoe
Viola
Michael Chong
Cello
Stephen Czarkowski
Bass
Michael Rittling
Clarinet
Jeffrey Boehmer
Guitar (double)
Geoff Reecer
Percussion
Nobue Matsuoka
Piano
Andrew Earle Simpson
TEXT
Considering Matthew Shepard
Craig Hella Johnson
Commissioned by Fran and Larry Collmann and Conspirare
Dedicated to Philip Overbaugh
PROLOGUE
All.
Yoodle—ooh, yoodle-ooh-hoo, so sings the lone cowboy,
Who with the wild roses wants you to be free.
Cattle, Horses, Sky and Grass
Cattle, horses, sky and grass
These are the things that sway and pass
Before our eyes and through our dreams
Through shiny, sparkly, golden gleams
Within our psyche that find and know
The value of this special glow
That only gleams for those who bleed
Their soul and heart and utter need
Into the mighty, throbbing Earth
From which springs life and death and birth.
I’m alive! I’m alive, I’m alive, golden. I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive . . .
These cattle, horses, grass, and sky
Dance and dance and never die
They circle through the realms of air
And ground and empty spaces where
A human being can join the song
Can circle, too, and not go wrong
Amidst the natural, pulsing forces
Of sky and grass and cows and horses.
I’m alive, I’m alive, I’m alive . . .
This chant of life cannot be heard
It must be felt, there is no word
To sing that could express the true
Significance of how we wind
Through all these hoops of Earth and mind
Through horses, cattle, sky and grass
And all these things that sway and pass.
Ordinary Boy
Let’s talk about Matt ̶
Ordinary boy, ordinary boy, ordinary boy . . .
Born in December in Casper, Wyoming
Ordinary boy
to a father, Dennis
and a mother, Judy
Ordinary boy, ordinary boy
Then came a younger brother, Logan
Ordinary boy
His name was Matthew Wayne Shepard. And one day his name came to be known around the world. But as his mother said:
Judy Shepard: You knew him as Matthew. To us he was Matt.
He went camping, he went fishing, even hunting for a moose
He read plays and he read stories and especially Dr. Seuss
He wrote poems with illustrations for the neighbors on the street
And he left them in each mailbox till he learned it was illegal
He made friends and he wore braces and his frame was rather small
He sang songs his father taught him
Frere Jacques . . .
Row Row Row Your Boat . . .
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star . . .
Judy: He was my son, my first-born, and more. He was my friend, my confidant, my constant reminder of how good life can be—and . . . how hurtful. ^
How good life can be, how good life can be
Judy: Matt’s laugh, his wonderful hugs, his stories . . .
Matt writes about himself in a notebook:
I am funny, sometimes forgetful and messy and lazy. I am not a lazy person though. I am giving and understanding. And formal and polite. I am sensitive. I am honest. I am sincere. And I am not a pest.
I am not a pest, I am not a pest . . .
I am my own person. I am warm.
I want my life to be happy and I want to be clearer about things. I want to feel good.
I love Wyoming . . .
I love Wyoming very much . . .
I love theatre
I love good friends
I love succeeding
I love pasta
I love jogging
I love walking and feeling good
I love Europe and driving and music and helping and smiling and Charlie and Jeopardy
I love movies and eating and positive people and pasta and driving and walking and jogging and kissing and learning and airports and music and smiling and hugging and being myself
I love theatre! I love theatre!
And I love to be on stage!+
Such an ordinary boy living ordinary days
In an ordinary life so worth living
He felt ordinary yearning and ordinary fears
With an ordinary hope for belonging
He felt ordinary yearning and ordinary fears
With an ordinary hope for belonging
(Born to live this ordinary life)
Just an ordinary boy living ordinary days with extraordinary kindness
extraordinary laughter extraordinary shining
extraordinary light and joy
Joy and light.
I love, I love, I love . . .
Ordinary boy, ordinary boy
We Tell Each Other Stories
We tell each other stories so that we will remember
Try and find the meaning in the living of our days
Always telling stories, wanting to remember
Where and whom we came from
Who we are
Sometimes there’s a story that’s painful to remember
One that breaks the heart of us all
Still we tell the story
We’re listening and confessing
What we have forgotten
In the story of us all
We tell each other stories so that we will remember
Trying to find the meaning . . .
I am open to hear this story about a boy, an ordinary boy
Who never had expected his life would be this story,
(could be any boy)
I am open to hear a story
Open, listen.
All.
PASSION
RECITATION I
Laramie, southeastern Wyoming, between the Snowy Range and the Laramie Range. Tuesday, October 6, 1998.
The Fence (before)
Out and alone
on the endless empty prairie
the moon bathes me
the stars bless me
the sun warms me
the wind soothes me
still still still
I wonder
will I always be out here
exposed and alone?
will I ever know why
I was put (here) on this earth?
will somebody someday
stumble upon me?
will anyone remember me
after I’m gone?
Still, still, still . . . I wonder.
RECITATION II
Tuesday night. Matthew attended a meeting of the University of Wyoming’s Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Association, then joined others for coffee at the College Inn. Around 10:30, he went to the Fireside Bar, where he later met Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson. Near midnight, they drove him to a remote area, tied him to a split rail fence, beat him horribly and left him to die in the cold of night.
The Fence (that night)
Most noble evergreen with your roots in the sun:
you shine in the cloudless sky of a sphere no earthly eminence can grasp,
You blush like the dawn,
you burn like a flame of the sun.^
I held him all night long
He was heavy as a broken heart
Tears fell from his unblinking eyes
He was dead weight yet he kept breathing
He was heavy as a broken heart
His own heart wouldn’t stop beating
The cold wind wouldn’t stop blowing
His face streaked with moonlight and blood
I tightened my grip and held on
The cold wind wouldn’t stop blowing
We were out on the prairie alone
I tightened my grip and held on
I saw what was done to this child
We were out on the prairie alone
Their truck was the last thing he saw
I saw what was done to this child
I cradled him just like a mother
Most noble evergreen, most noble evergreen, your roots in the sun . . .
Their truck was the last thing he saw
Tears fell from his unblinking eyes
I cradled him just like a mother
I held him all night long
Most noble evergreen . . .
RECITATION III
The next morning, Matthew was found by a cyclist, a fellow student, who at first thought he was a scarecrow. After several days in a coma and on life support, Matthew Shepard died on Monday, October 12, at 12:53 a.m. At the funeral, which took place on Friday, October 16, at St Mark’s Episcopal Church in Casper, Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Church protested outside.
A Protestor
God Hates Fags, Matt in Hell ̶ Signs held by anti-gay protestors at Matthew Shepard’s funeral and the trials of his murderers
kreuzige, kreuzige! (translation: crucify, crucify)
A boy who takes a boy to bed?
Where I come from that’s not polite
He asked for it, you got that right
The fires of Hell burn hot and red
The only good fag is a fag that’s dead
A man and a woman, the Good Lord said
As sure as Eve took that first bite
The fires of Hell burn hot and red
kreuzige, kreuzige!
Beneath the Hunter’s Moon he bled
That must have been a pretty sight
The fires of Hell burn hot and red
C’mon, kids, it’s time for bed
Say your prayers, kiss Dad good night
A boy who takes a boy to bed?
The fires of Hell burn hot and red
crucify, crucify . . . the light
crucify the light . . .
Keep It Away From Me (The Wound of Love)
don’t wanna look on this
never get near
flames too raw for me
grief too deep
keep it away from me
stay out of my heart
stay out of my hope
some son, somebody’s pain
some child gone
child never mine
born to this trouble
don’t wanna be born to this world
world where sometimes yes
world where mostly no
the wound of love^
smoke round my throat
rain down my soul
no heaven lies
keep them gone
keep them never
grief too deep, flames too raw
keep them away from me
stay out of my heart
stay out of my hope
don’t try
any old story on me
no wing no song
no cry no comfort ye
no wound ever mine
close up the gates of night
the wound of love
keep this all away from me
the wound of love
you take away
the wounds of the world
keep it away from me
RECITATION IV
National media began to broadcast the story. As the news began to spread, many people across the country gathered together in candlelight vigils, moved to (silently) speak for life over death, love over hate, light over darkness.
Fire of the Ancient Heart
Cantor:
“What have you done? Hark, thy brother’s blood
cries to me from the ground.” ^
Choir:
Called by this candle
Led to the flame
Called to remember
Enter the flame
Cantor:
all our flames now
swaying and free
all our hearts now
moving as one
every living spirit
turned toward peace
all our tender
hopes awake
Choir:
Called by this candle
Led to the flame
Called to remember
Enter the flame
Fire: howl
Fire: broken
Fire: burst
Fire: rage
Fire: swell
Fire: shatter
Fire: wail
Fire
We all betray the ancient heart
Ev’ry one of us, all of us
His heart, my heart, your heart, one heart
“In each moment the fire rages, it will burn away a hundred veils.”#
Burning Breaking Grasping Raging
how do we keep these
flames in our hands?
how do we guard these
fears in our hearts?
how long to hold these
griefs in our songs?
remembering anger
weave it with hope
remembering exile
braid it with praise
longing past horror
longing past dread
dreaming of healing
past all our pain
Fire: living in me
Fire: purify
Fire: now hold me
Fire: seize my heart
(enter the flame, enter the flame
shatter my heart, shatter my heart
called to enter, burn a hundred veils)
Called by this flame
Fire of my heart:
Break down all walls
Open all doors
Only this Love
“Eyes of flesh, eyes of fire”~
Lumina, lumina, lumina
Open us,
All!
(In each moment the fire rages, it will burn away a hundred veils.)
RECITATION V
Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson were arrested shortly after the attack and charged with murder, kidnapping, and aggravated robbery. The first of two trials began on October 26, 1999; both were convicted of the murder and sentenced to two consecutive life sentences.
Stray Birds
Stray birds of summer come to my window to sing and fly away.
And yellow leaves of autumn which have no songs flutter and fall there with a sigh.
Once we dreamt that we were strangers.
We wake up to find that we were dear to each other.^
We Are All Sons
we are all sons of fathers and mothers
we are all sons
we are all rivers
the roar of waters, we are all sons
I Am Like You
I am like you
Aaron
and Russell
When I think of you (and honestly I don’t like to think about you)
but sometimes I do,
I am so horrified, and just so angry and confused (and scared)
that you could do things to another boy—they were so cruel and
so undeserved, so dark and hard and full of (I don’t know)
Late one night I had a glimpse
of something I recognized, just a tiny glimpse—
I don’t even like to say this out loud,
it isn’t even all that true—
but I wondered for a moment,
am I like you? (in any way)
(I pray the answer is no)
Am I like you?
I bet you once had hopes and dreams, too.
Some things we love get lost along the way,
That’s just like me ̶ get lost along the way—
I am like you, I get confused and I’m afraid
and I’ve been reckless, I’ve been restless, bored,
unthinking, listless, intoxicated,
I’ve come unhinged,
and made mistakes
and hurt people very much.
Sometimes I feel (in springtime, in early afternoon)
the sunshine warm on my face;
you feel this too (don’t you?),
the sunshine warm on your face.
I am like you
(this troubles me)
I am like you
(just needed to say this)
Some things we love get lost along the way.
we are all sons of fathers and mothers
we are all sons
sometimes no home for us here on the earth
no place to lay our heads
we are all sons of fathers and mothers
if you could know for one moment
how it is to live in our bodies
within the world
if you could know
you ask too much of us
you ask too little
The Innocence
When I think of all the times the world was ours for dreaming,
When I think of all the times the earth seemed like our home-
Every heart alive with its own longing,
Every future we could ever hope to hold.
All the times our laughter rang in summer,
All the times the rivers sang our tune-
Was there already sadness in the sunlight?
Some stormy story waiting to be told?
Where O where has the innocence gone?
Where O where has it gone?
Rains rolling down wash away my memory;
Where O where has it gone?
When I think of all the joys, the wonders we remember
All the treasures we believed we’d never ever lose.
Too many days gone by without their meaning,
Too many darkened hours without their peace.
Where O where has the innocence gone?
Where O where has it gone?
Vows we once swore, now it’s just this letting go,
Where O where has it gone?
RECITATION VI
In the days and weeks after Matthew’s death, many people came to the fence to pay homage and pray and grieve.
The Fence (one week later)
I have seen people come out here with a pocketknife and take a piece of the fence, like a relic, like an icon. ̶ Rev. Stephen M. Johnson, Unitarian minister
I keep still
I stand firm
I hold my ground
while they lay down
flowers and photos
prayers and poems
crystals and candles
sticks and stones
they come in herds
they stand and stare
they sit and sigh
they crouch and cry
some of them touch me
in unexpected ways
without asking permission
and then move on
but I don’t mind
being a shrine
is better than being
the scene of the crime
RECITATION VII
Matthew’s father made his statement to the court on November 5, 1999.
Stars
Stars
scattered
across
the
sky
blinking
in
dismay
unable
to help
being
light
years
away
By the end of the beating, his body was just trying to survive. You left him out there by himself, but he wasn’t alone. There were his lifelong friends with him—friends that he had grown up with. You’re probably wondering who these friends were. First, he had the beautiful night sky with the same stars and moon that we used to look at through a telescope. Then, he had the daylight and the sun to shine on him one more time—one more cool, wonderful autumn day in Wyoming. His last day alive in Wyoming. His last day alive in the state that he always proudly called home. And through it all he was breathing in for the last time the smell of Wyoming wind—the ever-present Wyoming wind—for the last time. He had one more friend with him. One he grew to know through his time in Sunday school and as an acolyte at St. Mark’s in Casper as well as through his visits to St. Matthew’s in Laramie.
I feel better knowing he wasn’t alone.
RECITATION VIII
Matthew was left tied to the fence for almost eighteen hours.
In Need of Breath
Matt:
My heart
Is an unset jewel
Upon the tender night
Yearning for its dear old friend
The Moon.
When the Nameless One debuts again
Ten thousand facets of my being unfurl wings
And reveal such a radiance inside
I enter a realm divine ̶
I too begin to sweetly cast light,
Like a lamp,
I cast light
Through the streets of this
World.
My heart is an unset jewel
Upon existence
Waiting for the Friend’s touch.
Tonight
Tonight
My heart is an unset ruby
Offered bowed and weeping to the Sky.
I am dying in these cold hours
For the resplendent glance of God.
My heart
Is an unset jewel
Upon the tender night
My heart is an unset ruby
Offered bowed and weeping to the Sky.
RECITATION IX
Sheriff’s Deputy, Reggie Fluty, the first to report to the scene, told Judy Shepard that as she ran to the fence she saw a large doe lying near Matt—as if the deer had been keeping him company all through the night.
Deer Song
Deer:
A mist is over the mountain,
The stars in their meadows upon the air,
Your people are waiting below them,
And you know there’s a gathering there.
All night I lay there beside you,
I cradled your pain in my care,
We move through creation together,
And we know there’s a welcoming there.
Welcome, welcome, sounds the song,
Calling, calling clear;
Always with us, evergreen heart,
Where can we be but there?
Matthew:
I’ll find all the love I have longed for,
The home that’s been calling my heart so long
So soon I’ll be cleansed in those waters,
My fevers forever be gone;
Where else on earth but these waters?
No more, no more to be torn;
My own ones, my dearest, are waiting ̶
And I’ll weep to be where I belong.
Welcome, welcome, sounds the song,
Calling, calling clear;
Always with me, evergreen heart,
Where can I be but here?
RECITATION X
The fence has been torn down.
The Fence (after)/The Wind
prayed upon
frowned upon
revered
feared
adored
abhorred
despised
idolized
splintered
scarred
weathered
worn
broken down
broken up
ripped apart
ripped away
gone
but not forgotten
The North Wind
carried his father’s laugh
The South Wind
carried his mother’s song
The East Wind
carried his brother’s cheer
The West Wind
carried his lover’s moan
The Winds of the World
wove together a prayer
to carry that hurt boy home
prayed upon
frowned upon
revered
feared
North Wind, South Wind, East Wind, West Wind
(Splintered, scarred, weathered, worn, broken down, gone)
Winds of the World: carry him home.
Pilgrimage
The land was sold and a new fence now stands about fifty yards away. People still come to pay their respects. ̶ Jim Osborn, friend of Matthew Shepard
I walk to the fence with beauty before me
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want
I walk to the fence with beauty behind me
Yit’gadal v’yit’ kadash (may his great name grow)
I walk to the fence with beauty above me
Om Mani Padme Ham (Om! the jewel in the lotus, hum!)
I walk to the fence with beauty below me
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit
I reach the fence surrounded by beauty
wail of wind, cry of hawk
I leave the fence surrounded by beauty
sigh of sagebrush, hush of stone
(Beauty above me, beauty below me
By beauty surrounded)
Still, still, still, I wonder….
wail of wind, cry of hawk
Still, still, still, I wonder. . .
wail of wind, cry of hawk
Still still still
EPILOGUE
Meet Me Here
Meet me here
Won’t you meet me here
Where the old fence ends and the horizon begins
There’s a balm in the silence
Like an understanding air
Where the old fence ends and the horizon begins
We’ve been walking through the darkness
On this long, hard climb
Carried ancestral sorrow
For too long a time
Will you lay down your burden
Lay it down, come with me
It will never be forgotten
Held in love, so tenderly
Meet me here
Won’t you meet me here
Where the old fence ends and the horizon begins
There’s a joy in the singing
Like an understanding air
Where the fence ends and the horizon begins.
Then we’ll come to the mountain
We’ll go bounding to see
That great circle of dancing
And we’ll dance endlessly
And we’ll dance with the all the children
Who’ve been lost along the way
We will welcome each other
Coming home, this glorious day
We are home in the mountain
And we’ll gently understand
That we’ve been friends forever
That we’ve never been alone
We’ll sing on through any darkness
And our Song will be our sight
We can learn to offer praise again
Coming home to the light . . .
Thank You
Choir: Thank you
Thank you, thank you
Hohou, hohou (Arahapo—thank you)
Yontonwe (Huron—thank you)
even in this rain
signs of You everywhere, signs in the darkness
signs in the fires
signs of You in the hurt streets
signs in the tents, the tunnels
signs of You in the tiniest beating heart
thank you ourcry to be sung
even in this rain
out of the mouths of visions torn open
out of abandoned tongues
out of the mouths of children lost in the furnaces
out of the bloody lullabies
out of the beaks of buried eagles
the forests wrapped in rags
wires of lightning loose and writhing
out of skies as stained as the seas
we cry our song to be sung
even in this rain
sit with her now, old earth
hear her stories
all we have already been given
all we have yet to do
on watch
keeping our hands in the wounds
even in this rain
how might we ever say to You
we have ceased to dream
never forgetting
remembering how every breathing remembers
to build the world
thank you our cry to be sung
nobody
no one
turned away
nobody
no one
unworthy
nobody
no one
ashamed
yes each silence
yes each radiance
yes each shadow
yes each praise
mind into heart, mind into heart
each dream walks on
even in this rain
thank you
Hohou, Yontonwe . . .
Thank you
All of Us
What could be the song?
Where begin again?
Who could meet us there?
Where might we begin?
From the shadows climb,
Rise to sing again;
Where could be the joy?
How do we begin?
Never our despair,
Never the least of us,
Never turn away,
Never hide our face;
Ordinary boy,
Only all of us,
Free us from our fear,
Only all of us.
What could be the song?
Where begin again?
Who could meet us there?
Where might we begin?
From the shadows climb,
Rise to sing again;
Where could be the joy?
How do we begin?
Never our despair,
Never the least of us,
Never turn away,
Never hide your face;
Ordinary boy,
Only all of us,
Free us from our fear.
Only in the Love,
Love that lifts us up,
Clear from out the heart
From the mountain’s side,
Come creation come,
Strong as any stream;
How can we let go? How can we forgive?
How can we be dream?
Out of heaven, rain,
Rain to wash us free;
Rivers flowing on,
Ever to the sea;
Bind up every wound,
Every cause to grieve;
Always to forgive,
Only to believe.
[Chorale:]
Most noble Light, Creation’s face,
How should we live but joined in you,
Remain within your saving grace
Through all we say and do
And know we are the Love that moves
The sun and all the stars?+
O Love that dwells, O Love that burns
In every human heart.
(Only in the Love, Love that lifts us up!)
This evergreen, this heart, this soul,
Now moves us to remake our world,
Reminds us how we are to be
Your people born to dream;
How old this joy, how strong this call,
To sing your radiant care
With every voice, in cloudless hope
Of our belonging here.
Only in the Love . . .
Only all of us . . .
(Heaven: Wash me . . .)
All of us, only all of us.
What could be the song?
Where do we begin?
Only in the Love, Love that lifts us up.
All Of Us.
All.
Cattle, Horses, Sky and Grass (Reprise)
This chant of life cannot be heard
It must be felt, there is no word
To sing that could express the true
Significance of how we wind
Through all these hoops of Earth and mind
Through horses, cattle, sky and grass
And all these things that sway and pass.
Yoodle—ooh, yoodle-ooh-hoo, so sings the lone cowboy,
Who with the wild roses wants you to be free.
CREDITS
CONSIDERING MATTHEW SHEPARD
Text authors and publication credits.
All music composed by Craig Hella Johnson © 2016.
Cattle, Horses, Sky and Grass Compilation with additional text © Craig Hella Johnson / Please Come to Wyoming by John D. Nesbitt © by John D. Nesbitt. Used by kind permission. / Cattle, Horses, Sky and Grass by Sue Wallis © by Estate of Sue Wallis. Used by kind permission. Quoting Prelude in C Major Book 1, Well-Tempered Clavier by J. S. Bach.
Ordinary Boy © Craig Hella Johnson / From The Meaning of Matthew, by Judy Shepard p. 206. / + I Love Poem by Matt Shepard © by Judy Shepard. Used by kind permission.
We Tell Each Other Stories We Tell Each Other Stories © Craig Hella Johnson
The Fence (before)* Lesléa Newman
The Fence (that night) Material reproduced from Hildegard of Bingen from Symphonia: A Critical Edition of the “Symphonia Armonie Celestium Revelationum” (Symphony of the Harmony of Celestial Revelations), Second Edition, translated by Barbara Newman. © 1988, 1998 by Cornell University. Used by permission of the translator, Barbara Newman, and publisher, Cornell University Press. / The Fence (that night)* Lesléa Newman
A Protestor * Lesléa Newman / Additional italicized text by Craig Hella Johnson
Keep It Away From Me (The Wound of Love) by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson © 2015 by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson. Used by kind permission. / Gabriela Mistral
Fire of the Ancient Heart by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson © 2015 by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson. Used by kind permission. / ^Genesis 4:10 / #Rumi / ~William Blake. With thanks to Tom Burritt—percussion consultation and special arrangement
Stray Birds Stray Birds by Rabindranath Tagore
We Are All Sons (Part I) by Michael Dennis Browne © 2015 by Michael Dennis Browne. Used by kind permission.
I Am Like You/We Are All Sons (Part II) © Craig Hella Johnson
The Innocence by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson © 2015 by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson. Used by kind permission.
The Fence (one week later)* Lesléa Newman
Stars* Lesléa Newman / Dennis Shepard Statement to the Court
In Need of Breath Hafiz lyrics from “In Need of the Breath” from the Penguin (New York) publication The Gift: Poems by Hafiz by Daniel Ladinsky.Copyright © 1999 Daniel Ladinsky and used with his permission.
Deer Song by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson © 2015 by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson. Used by kind permission.
The Fence (after)/The Wind* Lesléa Newman
Pilgrimage* Lesléa Newman
Meet Me Here © Craig Hella Johnson
Thank You “Even in This Rain” text by Michael Dennis Browne © 2019 by Michael Dennis Browne
All of Us by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson © 2015 by Michael Dennis Browne and Craig Hella Johnson. Used by kind permission. / + from Divine Comedy, from the Paradiso by Dante, adapted by Michael Dennis Browne
Cattle, Horses, Sky and Grass (reprise) Cattle, Horses, Sky and Grass by Sue Wallis © by Estate of Sue Wallis. Used by kind permission. / Please Come to Wyoming by John D. Nesbitt © by John D. Nesbitt. Used by kind permission.
Recitations I–X compiled from news reports and crafted by Craig Hella Johnson and Michael Dennis Browne.
*All works authored by Lesléa Newman are from OCTOBER MOURNING: A SONG FOR MATTHEW SHEPARD. Copyright © 2012 by Lesléa Newman. Reproduced by permission of the publisher, Candlewick Press, Somerville, MA. Selections used by permission of Curtis Brown, Ltd. Copyright © 2012. All Rights Reserved.
“Introduction” from OCTOBER MOURNING: A SONG FOR MATTHEW SHEPARD by Lesléa Newman
On Tuesday, October 6, 1998, at approximately 11:45 p.m., twenty-one-year-old Matthew Shepard, a gay college student attending the University of Wyoming, was kidnapped from a bar by twenty-one-year old Aaron McKinney and twenty-one-year-old Russell Henderson. Pretending to be gay, the two men lured Matthew Shepard into their truck, drove him to the outskirts of Laramie, robbed him, beat him with a pistol, tied him to a split rail fence, and left him to die. The next day, at about 6:00 p.m.—eighteen hours after the attack—he was discovered and taken to a hospital. He never regained consciousness and died five days later, on Monday, October 12, with his family by his side.
One of the last things Matthew Shepard did that Tuesday night was attend a meeting of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Association. The group was putting final touches on plans for Gay Awareness Week, scheduled to begin the following Sunday, October 11, coinciding with a National Coming Out Day. Planned campus activities included a film showing, an open poetry reading, and a keynote speaker.
That keynote speaker was me.
I never forgot what happened in Laramie, and around the tenth anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s death, I found myself thinking more and more about him. And so I began writing a series of poems, striving to create a work of art that explores the events surrounding Matthew Shepard’s murder in order to gain a better understanding of their impact on myself and the world.
What really happened at the fence that night? Only three people know the answer to that question. Two of them are imprisoned, convicted murderers whose stories often contradict each other (for example, in separate interviews both McKinney and Henderson have claimed that he alone tied Matthew Shepard to the fence). The other person who knows what really happened that night is dead. We will never know his side of the story.
This book is my side of the story.
While the poems in this book are inspired by actual events, they do not in any way represent the statements, thoughts, feelings, opinions, or attitudes of any actual person. The statements, thoughts, feelings, opinions, and attitudes conveyed belong to me. All monologues contained within the poems are figments of my imagination; no actual person spoke any of the words contained within the body of any poem. Those words are mine and mine alone. When the words of an actual person are used as a short epigraph for a poem, the source of that quote is cited at the back of the book in a section entitled “Notes,” which contains citations and suggestions for further reading about the crime. The poems, which are meant to be read in sequential order as one whole work, are a work of poetic invention and imagination: a historical novel in verse. The poems are not an objective reporting of Matthew Shepard’s murder and its aftermath; rather they are my own personal interpretation of them.
There is a bench on the campus of the University of Wyoming dedicated to Matthew Shepard, inscribed with the words He continues to make a difference. My hope is that readers of October Mourning: A Song for Matthew Shepard will be inspired to make a difference and honor his legacy by erasing hate and replacing it with compassion, understanding, and love.
Candlewick.com
OCTOBER MOURNING: A SONG FOR MATTHEW SHEPARD. Copyright © 2012 by Lesléa Newman. Reproduced by permission of the publisher, Candlewick Press, Somerville, MA.
Considering Matthew Shepard was developed with the support of Conspirare. Please visit conpsirare.org to learn more about this project and learn more about the many individuals and organizations who support this work.
Conspirare, The Matthew Shepard Foundation, and KLRU-TV, Austin PBS are partnering to ensure that Considering Matthew Shepard reaches as many people as possible on the stage and screen. The Matthew Shepard Foundation has provided ongoing support in outreach and project development. Conspirare and KLRU-TV, Austin PBS co-produced a Considering Matthew Shepard television special commemorating the 20th anniversary of Matthew Shepard’s passing, which was released in 2018 and is available to watch for free online. KLRU profiled Craig Hella Johnson’s creative process in their documentary series Arts in Context (available at artsincontext.org). The film was accompanied by outreach and engagement programs and is available to watch for free online.
A NOTE OF THANKS
Cantate would like to thank…
- the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Rockville for providing space for the concerts
- the staff and residents of Ingleside at Rock Creek for providing rehearsal space for the chorus
- Temple Shalom for providing meeting space for the Board
- our box office and usher volunteers
Cantate’s 2025–2026 Concert Season is supported in part by funding from the Montgomery County government and the Arts and Humanities Council of Montgomery County, the Maryland State Arts Council, and The Dallas Morse Coors Foundation for the Performing Arts.
Cantate is also supported by the generous donations and underwriting of individuals and corporations, whose support we warmly welcome.
Learn more about Cantate’s donors and how you can support Cantate.
Rock Creek Singers would like to thank…
- Bishop Gene Robinson for his care and guidance
- the Matthew Shepard Foundation for their gift of bracelets and posters
Learn more about how you can support the Gay Men’s Chorus of Washington.
Join us for Cantate’s next concert: CELEBRATE
Sunday, December 14, 2025 • 5:00 p.m.
Bradley Hills Presbyterian Church
6601 Bradley Blvd, Bethesda, MD 20817
Join Cantate Concert Choir, baritone Anthony D. Anderson, and a chamber orchestra for a classic choral holiday celebration featuring beloved choruses from Handel’s Messiah, together with Vaughan Williams’ gorgeous Fantasia on Christmas Carols and more joyous holiday music by Jan Pieterszoon Sweelinck, Dan Forrest, and Shawn Kirchner. Cantate’s 2025-2026 cohort of Lift Every Voice fellows elevates the evening with a selection of dazzling seasonal oratorio solos polished during their residency with Cantate.
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